Opportunism Knocking

So me and Joan headed down the winding dirt road until we came across a group of cars parked on either side. I pulled off as far as I could, and we got out. I grabbed the cooler, and Joan got the chips and dip.


We walked a short way, crossed over a bridge with only a few missing planks, and arrived at a group of picnic tables. It was time for Cap’n Billy’s annual spring cookout and drunk-fest.

Each year my pal Cap’n Billy throws a party to celebrate the sun, good friends, and bad behavior. He told me that last year on the morning of the third day, he went out to his front porch and told the stragglers that they needed to find someplace else to pass out for a while.

There were hamburgers and hotdogs straight off the grill, every kind of side dish and dessert you could imagine, and plenty of cold beer. A pack of dogs patrolled around the tables, scooping up any morsels that found their way to the ground. When I set my beer down for a minute, a chocolate lab puppy rushed over and lapped it up.

As the sun dipped below the mountaintops, a campfire was lit. A late arriver walked up and shook Cap’n Billy’s hand. He grabbed a beer and started introducing himself to folks. When he got to me, he must’ve figured that he’d met most of the people there, because he stopped to have a conversation.

“I’m one of Cap’n Billy’s neighbors,” he told me. “I was drinking in a bar in Darby, and they told me I’d better go home ‘cause I can’t afford another DUI.”

“That sounds like good advice,” I said.

“But then I saw all these cars parked on the side of the road, and it looked like a party. I thought that I should check it out. It’s OK if I drink up here ‘cause the Darby Marshal don’t ever come up this way.”

“I guess the cops don’t come up here unless somebody gets shot,” I suggested.

He said, “Only if somebody calls them.”

That got me to thinking.

Folks in Western Montana don’t take kindly to the government getting involved in their affairs. They’re an independent lot, and they take care of their own business. It seems to me that maybe people in other parts of the country are starting to feel that way too.

Last week there were three Senate primary races that continued the trend of voters being fed up with incumbents in Washington. Senator Bennett of Utah and Representative Mollohan of West Virginia had failed the week before to secure a spot on the November ballot.

Usually, keeping a Senate seat is a sure thing unless the press has uncovered your extramarital affair. But things are different this year, and voters are saying they’ve had enough of the same old crap.

Democratic Senator Blanche Lincoln of Arkansas was forced into a runoff, although polls show that neither she nor her rival will win the general election against the Republican candidate. The funny thing is if you saw any of her campaign ads, you’d swear she was an Obama-hating, anti-stimulus Republican.

In the Kentucky Republican primary, Trey Grayson, who was backed by Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, was whupped by Rand Paul who was backed by the Tea Party. Of course he’ll never win the general election as long as he keeps saying that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 went too far. By the way, Paul is the son of the ever-entertaining (former) Presidential candidate Ron Paul.

And in Pennsylvania, one of the country’s most prominent opportunists Democrat/Republican/Democrat Arlen Specter, a five term Senator, lost his primary race even though he had the “full support” of both President Obama and Vice President Biden. You might recall that Specter switched parties last year because he didn’t think he could win the Republican primary. Guess what…voters saw right through that piece of insincere baloney and decided to boot him out.

What happened last week was a good start, and hopefully more of the filth, both Republican and Democrat, will be washed from the streets of Washington this fall. The only problem is that the guys who are being elected as replacements are still politicians. They’re just younger, fresher versions of the ones we’re all sick of. Once they get to the Capitol, they’re going to open their deep pockets to the same lobbyists and special interests.

Until we, as responsible citizens, take the time to get involved and get educated, we’ll be faced with the same opportunism that we’ve grown accustomed to. In elementary school, when they teach the Pledge of Allegiance, they should also teach the words to The Who song Won’t Get Fooled Again.

I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.