So after a full day of fishing, I stopped off at O’Brian’s Bar and Grill for a cold one. Stinky Pete came in with one of his clients, and they sat down next to me at the bar.
Dressed in his pressed slacks and Orvis shirt, the banker/lawyer told me about what a big cheese he was back in New York. Then, after surveying the room, Mr. Wall Street zeroed in on a family having dinner at a table in the corner.
“Look at that guy,” he says to me. “With that long ponytail, scraggly teeth and Bud Light t-shirt. Don’t people around here believe in dentists? I bet he doesn’t even know what a mortgage-backed security is.”
“Now wait a minute, Hot Shot,” I tell him, trying to hide my anger. “I know that guy. Sure he’s got a ponytail, but it’s neat and combed. His t-shirt is clean, and he probably can’t afford a lot of dental work.
“He’s a trucker, and he provides for his family. Look at how well-behaved his children are. That’s because he spends time with them.
“You think you’re better than him because you’ve got a bunch of money, but he works a lot harder at both his job and his family than you ever will. And besides, he’d never say anything bad about a stranger he’s never met just because of the way they look.”
I got up and left before I lost my temper.
That got me to thinking.
What the hell is wrong with people these days?
Take fer instance Mike Hart, a professional bass fisherman, who was recently caught cheating at the US Open fishing tournament. He stuffed 2-ounce lead weights down the throats of the fish he presented for weigh-in.
Normally, the bass are weighed and released, but if they die, they’re filleted, and the meat is sent to a charity. Hart attached treble hooks to the lead sinkers so they would catch in the throat of the bass, hoping that they wouldn’t be found if the fish were cut open.
That’s exactly the reason why fishing should be about fun, family and getting together with your pals, not about competition, cash prizes or corporate sponsors. Hart was banned for life from professional tournaments, but the only fitting punishment would’ve been to shove lead weights on hooks down his throat.
And how about Bristol Palin, who got pregnant while her mother was running for Vice President, got engaged to the baby-daddy, called off the wedding, and then announced her re-engagement in Us Weekly. Well, she and Levi Johnston broke up again. In fact, they broke up on the day the magazine hit the stands, but we had to wait for the latest issue of People to find out.
According to Bristol, Levi only wanted media attention (said the girl who’s telling her life story each month in celebrity gossip magazines). She may have a point, though, because Levi’s publicist said that he’s hired a trainer to get his body in shape for his upcoming Playgirl spread, which should be on the shelves in time for the holidays. Take that as free gift advice for all you fellers looking for something for the hard-to-please lady in your life.
Speaking of media whores with no shame, President Obama skipped the Boy Scouts’ Jamboree, celebrating the organization’s 100th anniversary, to appear on “The View.” The Scouts could’ve taught the President a few things about what it means to be a man, but instead he chose to face the hard-hitting questions about Snooki, the girl on the realty show “Jersey Shore.”
Why would the President blow off such a traditional event to appear on a daytime TV talk show? Because Boy Scouts are too young to vote. Women who sit on the couch eating bon bons, watching Whoopi and Joy, and living off government programs that are paid for by working peoples’ taxes (like Hillary Clinton) are Barack’s key constituency.
When is Obama going to start acting like the President of the United States instead of some beauty pageant contestant? While he was running for the title of Miss Everybody-in-the-Universe-Loves-Me, he talked about Hope, Change, and of course, World Peace. Now that he’s won the crown (with Joe Biden as first runner-up), all he still cares about is how much folks like him. So he smiles, looks good in his swimsuit, blames everyone else, and avoids making the decisions that will reduce government spending, create jobs, lower taxes, and put our economy back on track. In the meantime, he panders to the bon bon eaters, and makes sure that it’s business as usual in Washington.
You know, whether you’re a long-haired trucker raising a family or the President of the United States, it’s how you act that defines who you really are.
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
Showing posts with label Obama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Obama. Show all posts
Monday, August 9, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
You Want to Kick What?
So me and Big Al and Stinky Pete were down at O’Brian’s Bar and Grill watching the NBA finals. And trying to figure out why. You see, none of us really likes basketball, and we’re all tired of watching the Lakers and the Celtics compete for the title. I reckon it was because the NHL playoffs were over.
There’s something about guys gathered around a TV in a bar watching sports – any sports – that makes us feel like we’re part of a community. It gives us a sense of camaraderie…like men in combat or in a prison gang.
While I was feeling the warmth of knowing that my homies got my back, I watched with glazed-over eyes as Kobe Bryant did something that had the announcers screaming like teenage girls at a Justin Bieber concert. I didn’t care. I just wasn’t excited about the game.
I picked up a copy of the Missoulian that someone had left at the bar and started reading. I came across an interesting article, and I said, “Hey, did you guys hear about this Hopkins feller working in a wild animal park near Glacier who got mauled by a grizzly? It says here that a judge ruled that he deserves workers’ comp even though he got stoned before coming to work.”
“No way,” replied Big Al. “If I had a job, I think I’d wait until after work to get high.”
“There’s a great quote from the judge. He said, ‘It is not as if this attack occurred when Hopkins inexplicably wandered into the grizzly pen while searching for the nearest White Castle.’”
Stinky Pete chimed in, “It shouldn’t matter. He was stoned at work.”
“The judge felt that being under the influence of marijuana was not a contributing factor,” I explained. “He said that the only major cause of the attack was the grizzly bear. So the guy got hurt on the job from circumstances that were beyond his control.”
“You know, I’d have to agree with that,” said Stinky. “A grizzly bear is definitely one of those things beyond our control.”
That got me to thinking.
There’re a lot of things that folks have no control over but somehow believe that they do.
Take fer instance President Obama saying that he’s in charge when it comes to the BP oil spill. He doesn’t know anything about drilling oil wells, so how does he know what’s best? I wonder what exactly he expects to do – put on a wetsuit, grab a giant wad of bubble gum, dive down there and just plug the hole up.
I can image the President telling BP, “So I see you guys are working hard to stop all this oil from washing up on my clean white beaches.”
“Yes sir, Mr. President.”
“Could you work any harder?”
“We’ll do our best, Mr. President.”
“Yes! That’s how a man in charge takes care of things.”
The President likes to pretend that there’s something that he can do to end this disaster, and the American people like to let him pretend. That way we can blame him.
While there’s not much Obama can do to stop the leak, there’s plenty of other stuff he could be doing. First, he could’ve come right out at the start and recognized the loss suffered by the families of the 11 men killed on the rig like he did for the West Virginia coal miners.
Second, he could order National Guard troops to the area to begin sponging up all the oil that’s on the beaches and in the marshes right now. But they’ve got to wait on an environmental assessment before they can start any clean-up effort.
The truth is that the government doesn’t want to get involved. Because if they do, BP can turn around and tell folks who’re filing claims, “It’s not our fault. We were doing great until the US government came in and messed everything up. Go talk to them.”
Last week in an interview with Matt Lauer on the Today show, Obama said that he’d been meeting with experts so he’d know “whose ass to kick.” I would’ve thought that by day 50, he’d have figured that out. Isn’t it obvious? BP is responsible; who else’s ass do you need to kick.
The President needs to be careful though. The media keeps interviewing commercial fisherman who are angry that they’re losing money, but folks need to remember that the oil industry is a much bigger part of the Gulf Coast economy than shrimp.
You kick a grizzly bear in the ass, and you may not like the results.
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
Copyright 2010
There’s something about guys gathered around a TV in a bar watching sports – any sports – that makes us feel like we’re part of a community. It gives us a sense of camaraderie…like men in combat or in a prison gang.
While I was feeling the warmth of knowing that my homies got my back, I watched with glazed-over eyes as Kobe Bryant did something that had the announcers screaming like teenage girls at a Justin Bieber concert. I didn’t care. I just wasn’t excited about the game.
I picked up a copy of the Missoulian that someone had left at the bar and started reading. I came across an interesting article, and I said, “Hey, did you guys hear about this Hopkins feller working in a wild animal park near Glacier who got mauled by a grizzly? It says here that a judge ruled that he deserves workers’ comp even though he got stoned before coming to work.”
“No way,” replied Big Al. “If I had a job, I think I’d wait until after work to get high.”
“There’s a great quote from the judge. He said, ‘It is not as if this attack occurred when Hopkins inexplicably wandered into the grizzly pen while searching for the nearest White Castle.’”
Stinky Pete chimed in, “It shouldn’t matter. He was stoned at work.”
“The judge felt that being under the influence of marijuana was not a contributing factor,” I explained. “He said that the only major cause of the attack was the grizzly bear. So the guy got hurt on the job from circumstances that were beyond his control.”
“You know, I’d have to agree with that,” said Stinky. “A grizzly bear is definitely one of those things beyond our control.”
That got me to thinking.
There’re a lot of things that folks have no control over but somehow believe that they do.
Take fer instance President Obama saying that he’s in charge when it comes to the BP oil spill. He doesn’t know anything about drilling oil wells, so how does he know what’s best? I wonder what exactly he expects to do – put on a wetsuit, grab a giant wad of bubble gum, dive down there and just plug the hole up.
I can image the President telling BP, “So I see you guys are working hard to stop all this oil from washing up on my clean white beaches.”
“Yes sir, Mr. President.”
“Could you work any harder?”
“We’ll do our best, Mr. President.”
“Yes! That’s how a man in charge takes care of things.”
The President likes to pretend that there’s something that he can do to end this disaster, and the American people like to let him pretend. That way we can blame him.
While there’s not much Obama can do to stop the leak, there’s plenty of other stuff he could be doing. First, he could’ve come right out at the start and recognized the loss suffered by the families of the 11 men killed on the rig like he did for the West Virginia coal miners.
Second, he could order National Guard troops to the area to begin sponging up all the oil that’s on the beaches and in the marshes right now. But they’ve got to wait on an environmental assessment before they can start any clean-up effort.
The truth is that the government doesn’t want to get involved. Because if they do, BP can turn around and tell folks who’re filing claims, “It’s not our fault. We were doing great until the US government came in and messed everything up. Go talk to them.”
Last week in an interview with Matt Lauer on the Today show, Obama said that he’d been meeting with experts so he’d know “whose ass to kick.” I would’ve thought that by day 50, he’d have figured that out. Isn’t it obvious? BP is responsible; who else’s ass do you need to kick.
The President needs to be careful though. The media keeps interviewing commercial fisherman who are angry that they’re losing money, but folks need to remember that the oil industry is a much bigger part of the Gulf Coast economy than shrimp.
You kick a grizzly bear in the ass, and you may not like the results.
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
Copyright 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Grilling
So Joan decided she was going to grill some steaks all on her own. I was allowed to watch, but I was told to keep my comments to a minimum, and by no means was I supposed to touch anything.
This is the sort of thing that drives men crazy and makes them load up their guns and take out a room full of innocent bystanders. The grill is ours. We control outdoor cooking, and we can’t watch someone else do it without interfering.
I could be standing around watching Bobby Flay flipping burgers, and I’d still offer my opinion. He wouldn’t have a problem – he’d expect it. Every man has their own way of doing things when it comes to charring flesh over flames, and discussing the differences is part of the male bonding experience.
If I were to say, “Bobby, I think those burgers are looking good. Maybe they’re ready to be flipped,” nobody’s feelings would be hurt. He wouldn’t think that I was criticizing his cooking abilities, or that I was calling him fat. He wouldn’t burst into tears, run inside, and lock himself in the bathroom until I apologized and agreed to take him to the mall in Missoula for a little shopping spree.
So when Joan left the steaks on too long, I didn’t say a word. I knew they were going to be as juicy and delicious as a bowl full of sand, but I kept my mouth shut. I felt as helpless as a calf who’d been roped and bulldogged and who was about to be made into a steer.
I could fix this. I could make it better if only somebody would let me. I had to turn away to hide my frustration.
That got me to thinking.
Now I know how the National Guard troops that are assigned to the Mexican border feel.
President Obama announced last weeks that 1,200 National Guard are being sent to our southern border. At first folks thought, “Great, the federal government is finally doing something to stem the flow of illegal immigrants pouring into this country like vodka down Lindsay Lohan’s throat.”
But then the administration explained that while the Guard will be providing support, they won’t be helping the Border Patrol arrest illegal immigrants. They’ll be watching the border from remote surveillance points, analyzing intelligence coming in from other entities, and passing that information on to agents in the field.
By doing this the President said, “They can relieve border guards so that the border guards then can be in charge of law enforcement in those areas.”
US Ambassador to Mexico Carlos Pascual assured Mexican journalists that the National Guard will not be on the front lines and won’t interacting with people crossing the border. State Department spokesman Philip Crowley was quick to point out, “It’s not about immigration. It’s about the flow of certain things coming in this direction.”
I reckon by “things” he means drugs.
But according to T.J. Bonner, president of the National Border Patrol Council, a union that represents 17,000 agents, folks shouldn’t be surprised if the extra help doesn’t have much of an impact. He said, "They shouldn't expect that the announcement of up to 1,200 National Guard members will send a shock wave of fear in the cartels and that they will start playing nice."
All of this is going on at the same time that the Department of Homeland Security is telling Texas law enforcement authorities to be on the lookout for a suspected Somali man that they believe is trying to enter the country from Mexico. He’s said to be a member of the Al-Shabaab terrorist group.
Apparently, a whole bunch of these Al Shabaab guys have been coming into the country lately. Court documents that were recently unsealed accuse a Texas man of smuggling hundreds of Somalis through Brazil, South America and Mexico into the United States. Many of these illegal immigrants are suspected of having ties with Al-Shabaab, a terrorist organization in Somalia that’s aligned with Al-Qaeda.
Foxnews.com reports that according to law enforcement officials, Mexican smugglers are coaching Middle Easterners in how to look more Hispanic. In villages throughout northern Mexico, they’re being taught how to dress, how to act, and how to speak Spanish.
Despite this, Obama’s being very careful not to do anything to upset his good buddy President Calderon of Mexico. He knows that if we were to actually secure our borders, enforce our immigration laws, and stop illegal immigrants from crossing the border, then Mexican citizens couldn’t get their US taxpayer funded health care and education.
And if that happened, Calderon would stop coming to the White House barbeques.
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
This is the sort of thing that drives men crazy and makes them load up their guns and take out a room full of innocent bystanders. The grill is ours. We control outdoor cooking, and we can’t watch someone else do it without interfering.
I could be standing around watching Bobby Flay flipping burgers, and I’d still offer my opinion. He wouldn’t have a problem – he’d expect it. Every man has their own way of doing things when it comes to charring flesh over flames, and discussing the differences is part of the male bonding experience.
If I were to say, “Bobby, I think those burgers are looking good. Maybe they’re ready to be flipped,” nobody’s feelings would be hurt. He wouldn’t think that I was criticizing his cooking abilities, or that I was calling him fat. He wouldn’t burst into tears, run inside, and lock himself in the bathroom until I apologized and agreed to take him to the mall in Missoula for a little shopping spree.
So when Joan left the steaks on too long, I didn’t say a word. I knew they were going to be as juicy and delicious as a bowl full of sand, but I kept my mouth shut. I felt as helpless as a calf who’d been roped and bulldogged and who was about to be made into a steer.
I could fix this. I could make it better if only somebody would let me. I had to turn away to hide my frustration.
That got me to thinking.
Now I know how the National Guard troops that are assigned to the Mexican border feel.
President Obama announced last weeks that 1,200 National Guard are being sent to our southern border. At first folks thought, “Great, the federal government is finally doing something to stem the flow of illegal immigrants pouring into this country like vodka down Lindsay Lohan’s throat.”
But then the administration explained that while the Guard will be providing support, they won’t be helping the Border Patrol arrest illegal immigrants. They’ll be watching the border from remote surveillance points, analyzing intelligence coming in from other entities, and passing that information on to agents in the field.
By doing this the President said, “They can relieve border guards so that the border guards then can be in charge of law enforcement in those areas.”
US Ambassador to Mexico Carlos Pascual assured Mexican journalists that the National Guard will not be on the front lines and won’t interacting with people crossing the border. State Department spokesman Philip Crowley was quick to point out, “It’s not about immigration. It’s about the flow of certain things coming in this direction.”
I reckon by “things” he means drugs.
But according to T.J. Bonner, president of the National Border Patrol Council, a union that represents 17,000 agents, folks shouldn’t be surprised if the extra help doesn’t have much of an impact. He said, "They shouldn't expect that the announcement of up to 1,200 National Guard members will send a shock wave of fear in the cartels and that they will start playing nice."
All of this is going on at the same time that the Department of Homeland Security is telling Texas law enforcement authorities to be on the lookout for a suspected Somali man that they believe is trying to enter the country from Mexico. He’s said to be a member of the Al-Shabaab terrorist group.
Apparently, a whole bunch of these Al Shabaab guys have been coming into the country lately. Court documents that were recently unsealed accuse a Texas man of smuggling hundreds of Somalis through Brazil, South America and Mexico into the United States. Many of these illegal immigrants are suspected of having ties with Al-Shabaab, a terrorist organization in Somalia that’s aligned with Al-Qaeda.
Foxnews.com reports that according to law enforcement officials, Mexican smugglers are coaching Middle Easterners in how to look more Hispanic. In villages throughout northern Mexico, they’re being taught how to dress, how to act, and how to speak Spanish.
Despite this, Obama’s being very careful not to do anything to upset his good buddy President Calderon of Mexico. He knows that if we were to actually secure our borders, enforce our immigration laws, and stop illegal immigrants from crossing the border, then Mexican citizens couldn’t get their US taxpayer funded health care and education.
And if that happened, Calderon would stop coming to the White House barbeques.
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
Monday, April 19, 2010
We Like It
So me and Joan met my pal Hippie Dave and his girlfriend Nancy down at O’Brian’s Bar and Grill for an early supper. We sat at a 4-top and ordered drinks and burgers.
We were enjoying our refreshing cold beverages and anticipating our hot, juicy beef on a bun, when the front door swung open and in walked Stinky Pete. He was soaking wet and had that wild look in his eyes like somebody who’d been zapped with a joy buzzer one too many times. Whatever was bothering him, he no longer thought that it was funny.
He ordered a Jagermeister and a beer and, without waiting for an invitation, pulled a chair up to our table. Joan and Nancy slid over to make room. He threw back his shot, took a swig of beer, and sat there glaring, a puddle of water forming at his feet.
Since nobody else was going to do it, I asked, “What’s up, Stinky?”
He’d been out guiding, and the weather hadn’t cooperated. It rained, it snowed, the wind blew, the sun came out, and then it really rained.
He complained about how his clients couldn’t cast, they couldn’t set the hook, and they didn’t know how to fight a fish if they hooked one. I quietly suggested that those were probably the reasons why they hired a guide, but when Stinky gave me his death stare, I didn’t push the issue.
Then, when he was putting his raft on the trailer, one of the clients got enthusiastic about helping him and wound up dropping an oar in the river. As he was hurrying downstream after it, Stinky slipped and fell in the water, getting even wetter than he already was.
“All in all, I’d have to say that it was a pretty crappy day fishing,” Stinky said as he finished up his tale of misery and woe.
Dave said, “Dude, you’re missing the point. You get paid to fish.”
That got me to thinking.
There are some folks who take for granted the blessings that have been bestowed upon them. Take fer instance the Commander-in-Chief of our armed forces, Barak Obama.
At the end of the 2-day nuclear security summit in Washington, DC last week, he was asked about how the summit would affect the efforts to bring peace to the Middle East. In his response, the President said, “It is a vital national security interest of the United States to reduce these conflicts because, whether we like it or not, we remain a dominant military superpower, and when conflicts break out, one way or another, we get pulled into them.”
Whether we like it or not? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
I’ve got news for you pal…we like it. Obviously, Obama has no regard for the determined American spirit and the sacrifice that made us a dominant military superpower. It also seems like he’d rather not remain in that position.
Many brave men and women fought and died so that the President could represent our interests and the interests of freedom around the globe. He would do well to honor their memory.
The role that the United States has played in the world by virtue of its dominant status is that of defender of the defenseless, liberator of the oppressed, and enemy of tyrants. Throughout our country’s brief history we have confronted evil and righted injustice. These are not things to apologize for or to be ashamed of.
What would Obama prefer? That we were a second rate country who’s opinion carried no weight with other leaders. Well, that would certainly make his job easier now wouldn’t it? But that’s not the job he was elected to do.
I didn’t vote for him, but I still require that he act like the leader of the free world. Not like some American Idol contestant who can’t sing but still grovels at Simon Cowell’s feet while desperately begging for some sign of approval.
To quote the movie Spider-Man, “With great power comes great responsibility.” The President of the United States can act as a force of good because the office and the country command respect.
While the President’s approval rating here in America has dropped to a new low, he still remains very popular in Europe. I figure he’d have been better off as president of France.
Obama may feel that groveling and apologizing will get him what he wants on the international stage, but I say, “Dude, you’re missing the point. You get paid to lead and, thanks to those who’ve gone before you, you’ve got the tools to do it.”
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
We were enjoying our refreshing cold beverages and anticipating our hot, juicy beef on a bun, when the front door swung open and in walked Stinky Pete. He was soaking wet and had that wild look in his eyes like somebody who’d been zapped with a joy buzzer one too many times. Whatever was bothering him, he no longer thought that it was funny.
He ordered a Jagermeister and a beer and, without waiting for an invitation, pulled a chair up to our table. Joan and Nancy slid over to make room. He threw back his shot, took a swig of beer, and sat there glaring, a puddle of water forming at his feet.
Since nobody else was going to do it, I asked, “What’s up, Stinky?”
He’d been out guiding, and the weather hadn’t cooperated. It rained, it snowed, the wind blew, the sun came out, and then it really rained.
He complained about how his clients couldn’t cast, they couldn’t set the hook, and they didn’t know how to fight a fish if they hooked one. I quietly suggested that those were probably the reasons why they hired a guide, but when Stinky gave me his death stare, I didn’t push the issue.
Then, when he was putting his raft on the trailer, one of the clients got enthusiastic about helping him and wound up dropping an oar in the river. As he was hurrying downstream after it, Stinky slipped and fell in the water, getting even wetter than he already was.
“All in all, I’d have to say that it was a pretty crappy day fishing,” Stinky said as he finished up his tale of misery and woe.
Dave said, “Dude, you’re missing the point. You get paid to fish.”
That got me to thinking.
There are some folks who take for granted the blessings that have been bestowed upon them. Take fer instance the Commander-in-Chief of our armed forces, Barak Obama.
At the end of the 2-day nuclear security summit in Washington, DC last week, he was asked about how the summit would affect the efforts to bring peace to the Middle East. In his response, the President said, “It is a vital national security interest of the United States to reduce these conflicts because, whether we like it or not, we remain a dominant military superpower, and when conflicts break out, one way or another, we get pulled into them.”
Whether we like it or not? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
I’ve got news for you pal…we like it. Obviously, Obama has no regard for the determined American spirit and the sacrifice that made us a dominant military superpower. It also seems like he’d rather not remain in that position.
Many brave men and women fought and died so that the President could represent our interests and the interests of freedom around the globe. He would do well to honor their memory.
The role that the United States has played in the world by virtue of its dominant status is that of defender of the defenseless, liberator of the oppressed, and enemy of tyrants. Throughout our country’s brief history we have confronted evil and righted injustice. These are not things to apologize for or to be ashamed of.
What would Obama prefer? That we were a second rate country who’s opinion carried no weight with other leaders. Well, that would certainly make his job easier now wouldn’t it? But that’s not the job he was elected to do.
I didn’t vote for him, but I still require that he act like the leader of the free world. Not like some American Idol contestant who can’t sing but still grovels at Simon Cowell’s feet while desperately begging for some sign of approval.
To quote the movie Spider-Man, “With great power comes great responsibility.” The President of the United States can act as a force of good because the office and the country command respect.
While the President’s approval rating here in America has dropped to a new low, he still remains very popular in Europe. I figure he’d have been better off as president of France.
Obama may feel that groveling and apologizing will get him what he wants on the international stage, but I say, “Dude, you’re missing the point. You get paid to lead and, thanks to those who’ve gone before you, you’ve got the tools to do it.”
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
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