So I was working out on the treadmill the other morning listening to my computer-music-download-player-thingy when a Dire Straits tune called The Man’s Too Strong came on. I hadn’t heard it in a while, and some of the words caused me to stop and think.
The particular lyrics that caught my attention go like this: Father please hear my confession/I have legalized robbery/Called it a belief/I have run with the money/And hid like a thief/I have re-written history/With my armies and my crooks/Invented memories/I did burn all the books.
It hit me that anytime folks are upset about the government overstepping its bounds, lyrics like these are especially appropriate. With deficits out of control and taxes skyrocketing to fund health care reform and financial regulation reform, that part about legalizing robbery fits in pretty well with what’s happening today.
Speaking of reform, why is it that we have so much of it all of a sudden? Besides the two I just mentioned, there’s credit card reform, housing finance reform, immigration reform, education reform, energy reform, and environmental reform. And I’m sure there are plenty more.
When you look up reform in the dictionary, you’ll find definitions that include words like faulty, defective, abuse, corrupt, and depraved. Was our country really in that bad of shape before Obama became President? I didn’t know it, but every time I went to the doctor, put money in the bank, or drove my car, I was part of some giant evil plot.
And the plot is getting worse according to Bertha Lewis, CEO of ACORN. In her speech to a group called the Young Democratic Socialists, this is what she had to say, “…you guys know right now we are living in a time which is going to dwarf the McCarthy era. It is going to dwarf the internment during World War II. We are right now in a time that is going to dwarf the era of Jim Crow and segregation.”
She went on to say, “This is not rhetoric or hyperbole – this is real. The rise of this Tea Party so-called movement – bowel movement in my estimation – and this blatant uncovering and ripping off the mask of racism.”
Apparently, thinking that it’s wrong to give advice to pimps and prostitutes on how to get around federal tax laws is racism. And Ms. Lewis wonders why the government wants to stop funding her organization.
After I finished going nowhere for an hour on the treadmill, I went to find Joan to tell her about this strange string of thoughts that had wandered through my head. I found her at the computer, laughing hysterically.
She was reading an article on FoxNews.com about the latest fashion trend. It’s called Vajazzling.
“What’s that?” I asked.
“It’s a cross between bedazzling and vajayjay,” she said. “Is that self-explanatory enough, or do you want to hear the details?”
When I told her I had no idea what she was talking about, she described the process to me. A woman goes into a salon and gets a waxing. Then she picks out a design, like a tattoo but more like geometric shapes. Tiny crystals are glued to the freshly cleared area in the chosen pattern.
The design can be as complicated and as far down as a woman is willing to go with her deforestation. Some are simple star shapes that may peek up above a pair of low-rise jeans, or they may be like what Jennifer Love Hewitt recently described on several talk shows. She said hers made things down there look like a “pink disco ball.”
One salon in New York City called Completely Bare offers designs using Swarovski crystals in prices ranging from $115 to $750, including wax. As Joan put it, “It’s all the rage in the sophisticated, fashion-conscience, urban centers of the world.”
That got me to thinking.
Smart folks who write books talk about how when a society switches from net producer to net consumer, it can no longer sustain itself. From that point, its decline is inevitable.
When consumerism reaches a point where little fake gems to stick on your private parts become a sign of social status and one of the most prized items to purchase, the end can’t be far away.
Food, clothing, and shelter are considered the essential items necessary for survival. I don’t think Vajazzling qualifies as a top survival need. As a society moves further away from producing and consuming the basics, its purpose becomes less vital.
But there I go rambling again. I don’t really believe that Vajazzling will be the downfall of our culture. I reckon the point is that during these times of economic hardship, reform and racism, we could all use a tiny sparkle of hope in our lives. We’re going to need it.
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
Copyright 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
We Like It
So me and Joan met my pal Hippie Dave and his girlfriend Nancy down at O’Brian’s Bar and Grill for an early supper. We sat at a 4-top and ordered drinks and burgers.
We were enjoying our refreshing cold beverages and anticipating our hot, juicy beef on a bun, when the front door swung open and in walked Stinky Pete. He was soaking wet and had that wild look in his eyes like somebody who’d been zapped with a joy buzzer one too many times. Whatever was bothering him, he no longer thought that it was funny.
He ordered a Jagermeister and a beer and, without waiting for an invitation, pulled a chair up to our table. Joan and Nancy slid over to make room. He threw back his shot, took a swig of beer, and sat there glaring, a puddle of water forming at his feet.
Since nobody else was going to do it, I asked, “What’s up, Stinky?”
He’d been out guiding, and the weather hadn’t cooperated. It rained, it snowed, the wind blew, the sun came out, and then it really rained.
He complained about how his clients couldn’t cast, they couldn’t set the hook, and they didn’t know how to fight a fish if they hooked one. I quietly suggested that those were probably the reasons why they hired a guide, but when Stinky gave me his death stare, I didn’t push the issue.
Then, when he was putting his raft on the trailer, one of the clients got enthusiastic about helping him and wound up dropping an oar in the river. As he was hurrying downstream after it, Stinky slipped and fell in the water, getting even wetter than he already was.
“All in all, I’d have to say that it was a pretty crappy day fishing,” Stinky said as he finished up his tale of misery and woe.
Dave said, “Dude, you’re missing the point. You get paid to fish.”
That got me to thinking.
There are some folks who take for granted the blessings that have been bestowed upon them. Take fer instance the Commander-in-Chief of our armed forces, Barak Obama.
At the end of the 2-day nuclear security summit in Washington, DC last week, he was asked about how the summit would affect the efforts to bring peace to the Middle East. In his response, the President said, “It is a vital national security interest of the United States to reduce these conflicts because, whether we like it or not, we remain a dominant military superpower, and when conflicts break out, one way or another, we get pulled into them.”
Whether we like it or not? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
I’ve got news for you pal…we like it. Obviously, Obama has no regard for the determined American spirit and the sacrifice that made us a dominant military superpower. It also seems like he’d rather not remain in that position.
Many brave men and women fought and died so that the President could represent our interests and the interests of freedom around the globe. He would do well to honor their memory.
The role that the United States has played in the world by virtue of its dominant status is that of defender of the defenseless, liberator of the oppressed, and enemy of tyrants. Throughout our country’s brief history we have confronted evil and righted injustice. These are not things to apologize for or to be ashamed of.
What would Obama prefer? That we were a second rate country who’s opinion carried no weight with other leaders. Well, that would certainly make his job easier now wouldn’t it? But that’s not the job he was elected to do.
I didn’t vote for him, but I still require that he act like the leader of the free world. Not like some American Idol contestant who can’t sing but still grovels at Simon Cowell’s feet while desperately begging for some sign of approval.
To quote the movie Spider-Man, “With great power comes great responsibility.” The President of the United States can act as a force of good because the office and the country command respect.
While the President’s approval rating here in America has dropped to a new low, he still remains very popular in Europe. I figure he’d have been better off as president of France.
Obama may feel that groveling and apologizing will get him what he wants on the international stage, but I say, “Dude, you’re missing the point. You get paid to lead and, thanks to those who’ve gone before you, you’ve got the tools to do it.”
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
We were enjoying our refreshing cold beverages and anticipating our hot, juicy beef on a bun, when the front door swung open and in walked Stinky Pete. He was soaking wet and had that wild look in his eyes like somebody who’d been zapped with a joy buzzer one too many times. Whatever was bothering him, he no longer thought that it was funny.
He ordered a Jagermeister and a beer and, without waiting for an invitation, pulled a chair up to our table. Joan and Nancy slid over to make room. He threw back his shot, took a swig of beer, and sat there glaring, a puddle of water forming at his feet.
Since nobody else was going to do it, I asked, “What’s up, Stinky?”
He’d been out guiding, and the weather hadn’t cooperated. It rained, it snowed, the wind blew, the sun came out, and then it really rained.
He complained about how his clients couldn’t cast, they couldn’t set the hook, and they didn’t know how to fight a fish if they hooked one. I quietly suggested that those were probably the reasons why they hired a guide, but when Stinky gave me his death stare, I didn’t push the issue.
Then, when he was putting his raft on the trailer, one of the clients got enthusiastic about helping him and wound up dropping an oar in the river. As he was hurrying downstream after it, Stinky slipped and fell in the water, getting even wetter than he already was.
“All in all, I’d have to say that it was a pretty crappy day fishing,” Stinky said as he finished up his tale of misery and woe.
Dave said, “Dude, you’re missing the point. You get paid to fish.”
That got me to thinking.
There are some folks who take for granted the blessings that have been bestowed upon them. Take fer instance the Commander-in-Chief of our armed forces, Barak Obama.
At the end of the 2-day nuclear security summit in Washington, DC last week, he was asked about how the summit would affect the efforts to bring peace to the Middle East. In his response, the President said, “It is a vital national security interest of the United States to reduce these conflicts because, whether we like it or not, we remain a dominant military superpower, and when conflicts break out, one way or another, we get pulled into them.”
Whether we like it or not? What the hell is that supposed to mean?
I’ve got news for you pal…we like it. Obviously, Obama has no regard for the determined American spirit and the sacrifice that made us a dominant military superpower. It also seems like he’d rather not remain in that position.
Many brave men and women fought and died so that the President could represent our interests and the interests of freedom around the globe. He would do well to honor their memory.
The role that the United States has played in the world by virtue of its dominant status is that of defender of the defenseless, liberator of the oppressed, and enemy of tyrants. Throughout our country’s brief history we have confronted evil and righted injustice. These are not things to apologize for or to be ashamed of.
What would Obama prefer? That we were a second rate country who’s opinion carried no weight with other leaders. Well, that would certainly make his job easier now wouldn’t it? But that’s not the job he was elected to do.
I didn’t vote for him, but I still require that he act like the leader of the free world. Not like some American Idol contestant who can’t sing but still grovels at Simon Cowell’s feet while desperately begging for some sign of approval.
To quote the movie Spider-Man, “With great power comes great responsibility.” The President of the United States can act as a force of good because the office and the country command respect.
While the President’s approval rating here in America has dropped to a new low, he still remains very popular in Europe. I figure he’d have been better off as president of France.
Obama may feel that groveling and apologizing will get him what he wants on the international stage, but I say, “Dude, you’re missing the point. You get paid to lead and, thanks to those who’ve gone before you, you’ve got the tools to do it.”
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
Monday, April 12, 2010
The Sporting Life
So let’s talk about sports. Last week the Butler Bulldogs came close to pulling off one of the biggest upsets in NCAA basketball history.
The crowd was definitely pulling for the underdogs, who hadn’t been given much credit when the playoff brackets were announced. Several analysts had said that Butler was overrated and that they would be the number 5 seed that would be upset in the first round by a 12 seed.
With time running out Gordon Hayward put up the potentially championship-winning shot only to have it bounce off the rim and fall to the floor. Most basketball fans couldn’t believe the miracle run was over. In the end, it proved one thing – Duke is the best team in the country.
The NCAA women’s tournament came down to unbeaten Connecticut vs. once-beaten Stanford. The last time UConn lost a game was in the 2008 Final Four to Stanford. The only loss the Cardinal had this season was to the Huskies. After a sloppy first half, UConn came from behind to win, extending their unbeaten streak to 78 games.
Major League Baseball began their 2010 season, and fans of our national pastime headed out to the ballpark to root, root, root for the home team. With no major sex scandals or steroid controversies, baseball got off to a quiet start. In fact, if you aren’t a fantasy fanatic, you might’ve missed it.
Of course, the NBA and the NHL are getting geared up for the playoffs. You know there’s at least one young hockey player out there who can’t wait to use Lord Stanley’s Cup as a big shiny beer mug.
Finally, Tiger Woods returned to competition in the Masters Golf Tournament. He lost, but that’s not really important. What is important is that he and his sponsors are making money again.
On Tuesday, the video game company Electronic Arts launched Tiger Woods PGA Tour Online. The New York Times quoted Peter Moore, president of EA Sports, as saying, “We think this will be a productivity killer.” He’s betting on the fact that middle-aged, male, golf/video game fans don’t care about Tiger’s extra-curricular activities. And he’ll probably win that bet.
I haven’t played it, but from their website you can get a feel for what the game entails. It’s free, and you can play virtual golf with folks all over the world, but if you want to get to the point where you can compete at the highest levels, you’re going to have to shell out a few bucks to upgrade your gear. And if they add an after-the-match party mode in a future release, the private rooms at the strip clubs won’t come cheap either.
Maybe one of the upgrades you can buy will be a virtual house call from Dr. Anthony Galea who’s being investigated for providing performance enhancing drugs to NFL and Major League Baseball players. According to The Huffington Post, he was seen at Tiger’s house at least four times during February and March.
Nike got back into the game with new ads featuring Tiger staring at the camera with his dead dad’s voice saying, “I want to find out what your thinking was. I want to find out what your feelings are. Did you learn anything?”
That got me to thinking.
Tiger’s dad, Earl, also cheated on his wife. He could have been a contributing factor in Tiger’s unfaithful behavior…he’s gone, and we’ll never know. Maybe what he was asking was, “Did you learn how to not get caught next time?”
There were other folks cashing in on Tiger’s appearance at the Masters. Former mistress Joslyn James teamed up with the Pink Pony, an Atlanta strip club, to perform on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday Atlanta is only about 150 miles from Augusta, where the tournament is played.
The club’s website posed the question, “Will Tiger come to see her at the Pony?”
At a recent press conference, Joslyn, who’s appeared in 16 adult films, was asked if she would attend the golf tournament. Her lawyer, Gloria Allred, replied that she wouldn’t because Augusta National “still excludes women from membership in the same way that they used to exclude African-Americans.”
Way to make a stand for women’s rights. I’m sure she’ll work that into her act at the Pony.
Anyway, it was a big week in sports.
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
For more go to http://www.dustwinslow.com/.
© Copyright 2010
The crowd was definitely pulling for the underdogs, who hadn’t been given much credit when the playoff brackets were announced. Several analysts had said that Butler was overrated and that they would be the number 5 seed that would be upset in the first round by a 12 seed.
With time running out Gordon Hayward put up the potentially championship-winning shot only to have it bounce off the rim and fall to the floor. Most basketball fans couldn’t believe the miracle run was over. In the end, it proved one thing – Duke is the best team in the country.
The NCAA women’s tournament came down to unbeaten Connecticut vs. once-beaten Stanford. The last time UConn lost a game was in the 2008 Final Four to Stanford. The only loss the Cardinal had this season was to the Huskies. After a sloppy first half, UConn came from behind to win, extending their unbeaten streak to 78 games.
Major League Baseball began their 2010 season, and fans of our national pastime headed out to the ballpark to root, root, root for the home team. With no major sex scandals or steroid controversies, baseball got off to a quiet start. In fact, if you aren’t a fantasy fanatic, you might’ve missed it.
Of course, the NBA and the NHL are getting geared up for the playoffs. You know there’s at least one young hockey player out there who can’t wait to use Lord Stanley’s Cup as a big shiny beer mug.
Finally, Tiger Woods returned to competition in the Masters Golf Tournament. He lost, but that’s not really important. What is important is that he and his sponsors are making money again.
On Tuesday, the video game company Electronic Arts launched Tiger Woods PGA Tour Online. The New York Times quoted Peter Moore, president of EA Sports, as saying, “We think this will be a productivity killer.” He’s betting on the fact that middle-aged, male, golf/video game fans don’t care about Tiger’s extra-curricular activities. And he’ll probably win that bet.
I haven’t played it, but from their website you can get a feel for what the game entails. It’s free, and you can play virtual golf with folks all over the world, but if you want to get to the point where you can compete at the highest levels, you’re going to have to shell out a few bucks to upgrade your gear. And if they add an after-the-match party mode in a future release, the private rooms at the strip clubs won’t come cheap either.
Maybe one of the upgrades you can buy will be a virtual house call from Dr. Anthony Galea who’s being investigated for providing performance enhancing drugs to NFL and Major League Baseball players. According to The Huffington Post, he was seen at Tiger’s house at least four times during February and March.
Nike got back into the game with new ads featuring Tiger staring at the camera with his dead dad’s voice saying, “I want to find out what your thinking was. I want to find out what your feelings are. Did you learn anything?”
That got me to thinking.
Tiger’s dad, Earl, also cheated on his wife. He could have been a contributing factor in Tiger’s unfaithful behavior…he’s gone, and we’ll never know. Maybe what he was asking was, “Did you learn how to not get caught next time?”
There were other folks cashing in on Tiger’s appearance at the Masters. Former mistress Joslyn James teamed up with the Pink Pony, an Atlanta strip club, to perform on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday Atlanta is only about 150 miles from Augusta, where the tournament is played.
The club’s website posed the question, “Will Tiger come to see her at the Pony?”
At a recent press conference, Joslyn, who’s appeared in 16 adult films, was asked if she would attend the golf tournament. Her lawyer, Gloria Allred, replied that she wouldn’t because Augusta National “still excludes women from membership in the same way that they used to exclude African-Americans.”
Way to make a stand for women’s rights. I’m sure she’ll work that into her act at the Pony.
Anyway, it was a big week in sports.
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
For more go to http://www.dustwinslow.com/.
© Copyright 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
Training Program
So my girlfriend Joan wanted another female friend to fish with because I go with the guys too many times without taking her with me. Her friend Kelly grew up in Darby, moved away, and moved back again. She never learned to fly fish, but after hearing Joan talk about how fun it was, she wanted to give it a try.
Joan asked me if I would teach Kelly how to cast, which I was more than glad to do because there ought to be more women on the river. Among other things they improve the scenery.
I gave her the basics – you cast the line not the fly. Strength isn’t required; timing is. With the proper motion, the rod will bend, and when it unbends it does all the work for you. You have to wait for the line to straighten out and bend the rod before you can make it unbend. Moving the rod forward doesn’t make the line go forward; stopping the rod does.
You can’t pile too much technical stuff on a beginner because they can only take in a certain amount in one session. If you let them play around and feel happy about it, they’re more likely to want to do it again.
Once I got her comfortable with how the rod worked and what she was trying to achieve with the casting motion, I told her to practice for 15 minutes a day, 4 days a week. I told her how a repetitive training program was important to help build muscle memory, which would make it so she would develop a consistent motion and not have to think about the mechanics every time she cast.
To thank me for the lesson, Kelly took me and Joan out to supper at a fancy steakhouse. We ate big juicy rib eyes and drank a bottles of Cabernet. I felt like a real VIP.
That got me to thinking.
Different folks have different ideas on what it means to be treated like a VIP. Take fer instance the feller who went to Voyeur, a club in West Hollywood, and got the Republican National Committee to pick up the tab.
He was part of the RNC Young Eagles program, which means that he’s under 45 and he gives way too much money to the GOP. I guess he figured that they owed him a relaxing night on the town after all the backbreaking donating he’d been doing.
On Voyeur’s website, the place is described as “an intimate lounge that will draw guests into a provocative enclave where art, festivities, and entertainment converge in a sophisticated setting unlike any other.” Sounds very elegant and mature, refined and classy…the perfect spot to discuss politics over a glass of brandy.
It turns out that the type of art, festivities and entertainment that’s converging here is women in masks and leather undies with whips, dancing around topless on stage. Folks who’ve reviewed the club online have described the half-naked women hanging in nets suspended from the ceiling who occasionally whip anybody who isn’t keeping a sharp eye out.
Couples in bondage gear simulate S&M activities inside of glass boxes, and one gal wrote about two women pretending to have oral sex inside a see-through case in the middle of the ladies’ room. I wonder what a girl has to have on her resume to get a job like that.
There’s a line out front, but you can get around that if you’re a good looking woman or a man who’s willing to sit at a table that’s got a drink minimum. But it isn’t a one drink minimum; it’s a one bottle minimum for every two people. Some folks said that they spent $800 to $1,100 dollars per bottle.
Of course the RNC fired the leader of the Young Eagles program who approved the $1,946 tab. They made it clear that they don’t approve of using committee money at places like that. They assured us that everyone was sufficiently outraged. The Republican Party stands for morals and family values.
Now if you want to spend your own money at that sort of establishment, well that’s a different story. After all, the GOP hasn’t exactly been without scandal – with Republican elected officials being accused of soliciting gay sex in airport bathrooms or taking state funds to fly to Brazil to meet with a mistress (to name a couple of recent examples).
If you think about it, the whole Voyeur incident isn’t uncommon behavior at all for Republican leaders. In fact, you could look at the whole thing as a training program for aspiring young eagles.
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
For more go to http://www.dustywinslow.com/
© Copyright 2010
Joan asked me if I would teach Kelly how to cast, which I was more than glad to do because there ought to be more women on the river. Among other things they improve the scenery.
I gave her the basics – you cast the line not the fly. Strength isn’t required; timing is. With the proper motion, the rod will bend, and when it unbends it does all the work for you. You have to wait for the line to straighten out and bend the rod before you can make it unbend. Moving the rod forward doesn’t make the line go forward; stopping the rod does.
You can’t pile too much technical stuff on a beginner because they can only take in a certain amount in one session. If you let them play around and feel happy about it, they’re more likely to want to do it again.
Once I got her comfortable with how the rod worked and what she was trying to achieve with the casting motion, I told her to practice for 15 minutes a day, 4 days a week. I told her how a repetitive training program was important to help build muscle memory, which would make it so she would develop a consistent motion and not have to think about the mechanics every time she cast.
To thank me for the lesson, Kelly took me and Joan out to supper at a fancy steakhouse. We ate big juicy rib eyes and drank a bottles of Cabernet. I felt like a real VIP.
That got me to thinking.
Different folks have different ideas on what it means to be treated like a VIP. Take fer instance the feller who went to Voyeur, a club in West Hollywood, and got the Republican National Committee to pick up the tab.
He was part of the RNC Young Eagles program, which means that he’s under 45 and he gives way too much money to the GOP. I guess he figured that they owed him a relaxing night on the town after all the backbreaking donating he’d been doing.
On Voyeur’s website, the place is described as “an intimate lounge that will draw guests into a provocative enclave where art, festivities, and entertainment converge in a sophisticated setting unlike any other.” Sounds very elegant and mature, refined and classy…the perfect spot to discuss politics over a glass of brandy.
It turns out that the type of art, festivities and entertainment that’s converging here is women in masks and leather undies with whips, dancing around topless on stage. Folks who’ve reviewed the club online have described the half-naked women hanging in nets suspended from the ceiling who occasionally whip anybody who isn’t keeping a sharp eye out.
Couples in bondage gear simulate S&M activities inside of glass boxes, and one gal wrote about two women pretending to have oral sex inside a see-through case in the middle of the ladies’ room. I wonder what a girl has to have on her resume to get a job like that.
There’s a line out front, but you can get around that if you’re a good looking woman or a man who’s willing to sit at a table that’s got a drink minimum. But it isn’t a one drink minimum; it’s a one bottle minimum for every two people. Some folks said that they spent $800 to $1,100 dollars per bottle.
Of course the RNC fired the leader of the Young Eagles program who approved the $1,946 tab. They made it clear that they don’t approve of using committee money at places like that. They assured us that everyone was sufficiently outraged. The Republican Party stands for morals and family values.
Now if you want to spend your own money at that sort of establishment, well that’s a different story. After all, the GOP hasn’t exactly been without scandal – with Republican elected officials being accused of soliciting gay sex in airport bathrooms or taking state funds to fly to Brazil to meet with a mistress (to name a couple of recent examples).
If you think about it, the whole Voyeur incident isn’t uncommon behavior at all for Republican leaders. In fact, you could look at the whole thing as a training program for aspiring young eagles.
I don’t know, I guess I think too hard about these things.
For more go to http://www.dustywinslow.com/
© Copyright 2010
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